So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
