her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
