He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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