I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He? As in you personified your dick?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
