I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
