At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
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a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
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I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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