I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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