Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
