just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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