Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
