My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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