Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Come see our sink grown plant.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
