Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
