South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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