yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just want nice things and good sex
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
