don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
