new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
