I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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