Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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