Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
