Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
