You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
