Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
