too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
