Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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