32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
