Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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