He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
