I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
