The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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