Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
