can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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