you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
