ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
