What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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