Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
