she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
