Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
