Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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