he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
