I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
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We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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