evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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