If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
what the fuck happened to the tacos
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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