this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
