Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
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ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
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You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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