im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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