You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
