so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
you never un-have a 4some
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
FUCK WHALES
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
