So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
