I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
