Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
