I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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