It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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