I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I could make wine with my vomit
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
