4 words: hood of his car
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
