One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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