...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
