We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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