You made me cry and you don't even care
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
