her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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